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Living Vicariously

I met another family bragging about their son getting a full athletic scholarship to play Division I sports. Funny how they did not mention the 2 letters he would have to receive from the college. They did not mention the grant in aid letter, nor did they mention the letter of intent.  I am also curious as to why they did not mention the $50 they had to send to the NCAA clearing house. Nor did they mention the clearing house # you get to be able to accept an athletic scholarship. No announcement on any social media was made.
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EPTU

EPTU. I heard from a coach that equal play under 10 rewards kids who don’t want to work and put in the effort. They are kids, not micro adults. Embrace their age appropriate desire for FUN. It should be an integral part of your coaching philosophy. Or is just a word you throw around to appease your conscience? Had a coach tell me Kobe does it that way when he's trying to win a game. Well coach your player is not Kobe and never will be. He’s a high school student. Teach him that way.  Imitating what the pros do

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Injuries to multi sport athletes

During a recent mentoring session with a coach he asked if back in my day, we had kids miss a whole season with an injury. I said it rarely happened. Most of the time when it did it was an accident. Somebody tripped over something, or they ran into something and got hurt. Occasionally, and I remember it happening once in high school, did I see a player get hurt during a game that caused him to miss the rest of the season.

 

But today, you see or hear about it often. With 3000 kids a day going to
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Paycheck and Taxes

Is it about the paycheck and taxes?

 

Since it’s Labor Day, let’s talk about working, paychecks, and taxes. In this day and age of youth and high school sports, I am struck by the similarities between our children’s new era of “play” and a job. If put into business terms, it seems that youth sports organizations are issuing taxes and parents are paying these taxes without either side being fully aware of the actual physical drain on their “bank” accounts.  These taxes, like almost all taxes, are adding so much outside negative stress that it has become increasingly difficult
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Game Changing Calls

Game Changing Calls

 

 Don’t put yourself or team in a position where a ref can make a difference in the outcome of a game. You don’t want him/her to do it, and neither does he/she. In the course of a game there are multiple calls that are questionable. I could go back through the game and every team sport game I played, coached or watched and point out plays and calls for both sides, if executed properly, would have made that “game changing” call in the Buffalo Bills Jacksonville Jaguar game, or any game I played, coached, or watched,
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The importance of fun and laughter in sports

Play for Fun with laughter
In my 7 years as a professional standup comedian I was continually overwhelmed by the fact that as comedians, we could take a group of people in a room, who would never be together again, and unite them in laughter. After the show was over, people would come up to you, buy your CD or DVD, stop and chat, or comment on the show.
I would sometimes stand  to the side and just watch the whole proceedings. Watching people leave the comedy club feeling good, made me feel good.
Then it struck me how valuable
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Injured egos fractured truth

Just got off the phone with a friend who was telling me a story about a couple of kids who played on his team. They were multi sport athletes and played on this guy’s team because it was so much fun. That’s right, kids play for fun. Whether adults, organizations, and even parents think it’s about winning for the kids as a priority, well it’s not. Study after study, including our own of over 1000 kids, demonstrates they want to have fun, play with their friends, and compete.

 

When things don’t work out, and the athletic scholarship does not
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The Buffalo Bills and Accountability

 The Bills seemed to blame the referees for the loss yesterday against the Giants, or at least all the penalties. Not taking responsibility for ones actions is a very good way to ensure entitlement. It’s not very good role modeling. Am I to assume that the refs wanted the Bills to lose and the Giants to win? Teaching our children accountability should be a paramount basic fundamental value. But if our leaders don’t, why should they? I used to tell my teams don’t put yourselves in a position when playing that the ref can make a difference in the game.
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Cell phones and selfies

Cell phones and selfies

 

Life is about balance. We are social creatures by nature. The more we lose sight of the value in community to all, the easier it is to become jaded. Most everyone wants to be independent but they also want to belong. If you don’t feel like you belong, many serious negative consequences, thoughts, and actions become more plausible to you.

 

When you take the group dynamic and all it positives and negatives, and turn it into a vehicle for self, you have looming problems. (See congress) or big business. I’m all for fun but
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This Sucks and I am Bitter

I write this week’s blog with a heavy heart. There is so much of what I see out there in the world of youth sports, and society in general, that I wish was not happening. Today, I want to talk about what children learned when they realized the end of their career was coming. What would they change about how they did things after their playing days were over?
 It was brought up to me recently, after one of my talks, if I thought the kids that got screwed over playing youth and high school sports, would behave and coach

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The End Game Truth

I have worked with, coached, mentored, and interacted with over 5000 kids on this journey to change the culture of the youth and high school sports environment. To say it has been a difficult journey so far would be quite an understatement. These kids and most well intentioned parents and coaches have been caught up in a Tsunami of epic proportions, that leaves a path of long term destruction the likes we have not seen in youth and high school sports ever, to this degree.  We have not been able to stem the tide as the problem of specialization, angst,
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Ice Cream

I love ice cream. Let me explain. There is a certain ice cream franchise that I took my wonderful wife to the very first day she moved in to my house. I remember that day it as our real true anniversary. It was January 21, 1988. Yes, that’s right, in the dead of winter. The temperature that day was 10 degrees.

 

The girl working at the counter said I was the only person she had seen all day, and that included her boss. My girlfriend at the time, the Saint that she was, humored me by going out in
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Is It Really Worth It?

That does not sound right to me
I had another conversation, with another parent, claiming to have a full ride for their child athletically. When questioned thoroughly, and my connections to college coaches explained to him, the parent changes the story. Well, it wasn’t DI and it wasn’t a full athletic scholarship. My child has great grades.
Are parents so caught up in the ego and status of having a kid with a scholarship that they just throw away the truth and hope no one catches them? Are they in a group where everyone believes them and wants to be
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Is It Really Worth It?

That does not sound right to me
I had another conversation, with another parent, claiming to have a full ride for their child athletically. When questioned thoroughly, and my connections to college coaches explained to him, the parent changes the story. Well, it wasn’t DI and it wasn’t a full athletic scholarship. My child has great grades.
Are parents so caught up in the ego and status of having a kid with a scholarship that they just throw away the truth and hope no one catches them? Are they in a group where everyone believes them and wants to be
Read more

Is It Really Worth It?

That does not sound right to me
I had another conversation, with another parent, claiming to have a full ride for their child athletically. When questioned thoroughly, and my connections to college coaches explained to him, the parent changes the story. Well, it wasn’t DI and it wasn’t a full athletic scholarship. My child has great grades.
Are parents so caught up in the ego and status of having a kid with a scholarship that they just throw away the truth and hope no one catches them? Are they in a group where everyone believes them and wants to be
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How Did You Think This Was Going To Turn Out?

I say this over and over in my talks, seminars, and workshops. There is a culture in sports that is headed in the wrong direction for the kids, parents, and organizations participating Over and over we see abhorrent behavior being defended by one person or another.  They say they didn’t mean it. They say we saw it wrong. It was in the heat of the moment

Rarely if ever do I hear anyone say, that is a really bad example to set for the children. Rarely if ever, does the offender own up to the behavior. WHY? That behavior, like

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GUEST BLOG WAYNE WILSON

After captaining the Bowling Green Falcons to the NCAA Division I championship in 1984, I decided to forego a professional hockey career so I could begin coaching. And that’s what I’ve done ever since – serving as an assistant at my alma mater for nine years while earning my master’s degree, before becoming head coach at Rochester Institute of Technology a dozen years ago.
                Along the way, I’ve had the privilege of coaching and teaching a lot of hard-working student athletes, not only about hockey, but about life. We attempt to recruit high-character kids who are good teammates and
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How Good Can I Be?

I had the good fortune to meet a young lady and her family during my journey through this project.  I had met her brother first and he was quite pleased with his younger sister’s athletic accomplishments.  He really caught my attention when he started talking about scholarships.  It seems his sister had been approached about playing DI tennis by a college coach.  Now let me make this clear:  a student must graduate from their junior year and pass the NCAA clearing house before they can be offered or accept a legitimate DI athletic scholarship. A student or family can say
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THE HIGH COST OF PLAYING AND COACHING TO WIN

A coach told a freshman player that he would be in his high school team’s top “20” as a freshman soccer player. He even told the player’s father that his son was going to make the team.  The player had a great camp, but was cut. Let me make this clear. If a varsity coach is going to keep a freshman or a sophomore on his team, they must play at least 50% of the time, and should be in the starting lineup every other game. When the father questioned the coach about keeping his word, the coach blamed

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