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After captaining the Bowling Green Falcons to the NCAA Division I championship in 1984, I decided to forego a professional hockey career so I could begin coaching. And that’s what I’ve done ever since – serving as an assistant at my alma mater for nine years while earning my master’s degree, before becoming head coach at Rochester Institute of Technology a dozen years ago.
                Along the way, I’ve had the privilege of coaching and teaching a lot of hard-working student athletes, not only about hockey, but about life. We attempt to recruit high-character kids who are good teammates and
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How Good Can I Be?

I had the good fortune to meet a young lady and her family during my journey through this project.  I had met her brother first and he was quite pleased with his younger sister’s athletic accomplishments.  He really caught my attention when he started talking about scholarships.  It seems his sister had been approached about playing DI tennis by a college coach.  Now let me make this clear:  a student must graduate from their junior year and pass the NCAA clearing house before they can be offered or accept a legitimate DI athletic scholarship. A student or family can say
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A coach told a freshman player that he would be in his high school team’s top “20” as a freshman soccer player. He even told the player’s father that his son was going to make the team.  The player had a great camp, but was cut. Let me make this clear. If a varsity coach is going to keep a freshman or a sophomore on his team, they must play at least 50% of the time, and should be in the starting lineup every other game. When the father questioned the coach about keeping his word, the coach blamed

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Controling The Coaching Ego

I went to a Rugby game last night. One coach substituted all his players and got smoked. What struck me about this game is that Rugby was kind of easy to watch and enjoy since many people in the stands did not know the rules, kind of like volleyball. But that changed this year. Parents were yelling at the referee. One coach said openly that he could not believe how much the ref was getting paid for this game.
            After the game I heard one coach talking about how upset he was that the other team had run up
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The Frozen Shorts Training Method (FSTM) was in full swing last night. A Town’s Youth Soccer “Board” has hired Frozen Shorts to mentor one of their five and six year old combined boys and girls House soccer team. What a wonderful fun filled night it was! But let me explain how we implement this paradigm from the beginning.
             The first thing we do is make a presentation to the entire “Board” at one of their regularly scheduled meetings. This presentation of our paradigm took approximately one hour. The indoctrination explains to them the problems with the current structure
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This is a story about an injury to a pretty good lacrosse player. This young man is a multiple sport athlete and looks to be going to play lacrosse in college, and maybe getting some athletic financial aid for playing at the division I level. He now has had an injury that keeps him out of competition in both sports that he plays.
                 Let’s look at the extenuating circumstances during this journey that led to this injury, and many other injuries like it.  A similar event could be happening over and over again in many sports or activities at
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This is a story about recruiting athletes to play college sports. We are going to talk about a girl who is going to college to play softball at a DIII college. But please understand this story could apply to any  athlete going to any DIII college. Only about 3% of all students attending a four year college play intercollegiate sports at the Division III level, and about 1% play at the Division I level.

                This young lady or her family employed the service of a company to help her find a college to play softball. Now I am not
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Not Rights, But The Right Thing To Do

I had a problem with a boy in class today. Once again, we see an athlete feeling entitlement without accountability, trying to get ahead, while actually falling behind. This young man is a very good person. He was texting in class, and he knew he wasn’t allowed to do so. His excuse was that he was texting his mom. I took his phone away. When he was walking by me later in the class .he asked if he could negotiate with me He was passing notes back and forth with the student next to him. I asked him to stop.
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                Gas prices are rising, an unpopular war is being waged, and we are seemingly inundated with messages that tell us to ignore long-term goals and to concentrate on me and today.  Some people respond with a paradigm shift in their thinking.  They stand up and say, “No” to this expensive, time-consuming pursuit of youth sports. 
Quality family time needs to be brought back to the forefront of our goals and desires.  We must regain the balance in our lives.  A sense of community, and what it stands for, needs
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                We tend to look around for the outrageous and the outlandish as a way to vent frustration about what’s happening in our own day to day existence. We can say, “Hey, I’m not so bad after all!” or “What a jerk that guy is!” but still pay attention to his or her behavior.  The athlete can be categorized in many negative ways.  But what we don’t understand is that when we do that, we are giving the athlete the attention he or she craves to fuel continued poor behavior.  It emboldens them.  Gives them the attention they
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I was recently talking to a high school football player.  His season was over and he commented about what went on with the new craze of 7 on 7.  He came to me asking what I thought he should do.

         I did not answer him directly.  What I did was inquire as to how much fun he had playing football this past season.  He said it was OK.  The team had done well, he started, but you could tell there was something missing.  I probed further.  He told me of a game where he was playing defensive back.  The
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Have you asked the kids if winning are why they play youth sports? WE HAVE! It's their sport. Here's what a majority answer. They play for fun! What is being advocated by many people is an extrinsic reward on a child’s internal development before they are fully developed. The test, winning a game, takes priority in terms of its importance to the child versus development?  Does the child who sits up first, crawls first, walks first, automatically become the fastest child? NO!

       Extrinsic rewards may help a few but when did we start teaching to the few. The rewards’
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Simply put, for 99% of the children, youth sports are not a vehicle for or a means to an end. It is not about status, glory, scholarships, or playing professional sports.  According to the National Alliance of Sports,   70% of our children quit playing youth sports by the time they are 13 who were still playing at the age of 10.  To get the fun back into youth sports, we need to balance the importance of youth sports and the time we spend on them, the effort we put into them, in proportion to the rest of our lives. This
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Here is a story about a young man being recruited to play college football. He was scheduled to take a test in his regularly scheduled class when a college recruiter showed up at his school. He wanted the student to ask his proctor if he could take the test later. The proctor said no. The Varsity football coach then came down to the room and started negotiating with the proctor on behalf of the college recruiter and of course the student athlete. The proctor agreed to let the young man leave for twenty minutes, but he had to come back
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            I was doing television broadcasting for a local high school basketball game at the varsity level. I enjoy doing play by play and adding a different perspective to the broadcast that includes recognizing on the air academic excellence and sportsmanship.What should have turned into a fascinating game between two rivals eventually eroded into a blowout in front of  a sold out gymnasium.
         Two cross town rivals going at it in front of a packed house. The atmosphere was electric even before the Junior Varsity game was over. High school games
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Here is an example of how “elite” youth sports teams actually mislead parents, coaches, and players into believing that they are being competitive at a high level at an early age. What is in fact happening is that the outcome (players leaving a sport) is predetermined to eliminate potentially good athletes. The deck is stacked to allow higher developed children more playing time at the expense of other children who start out more slowly, or whose families cannot afford to pay the high price of youth sports participation.
Competition can be enhanced for those who need more game experience and
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my daughter Molly Part 3

Molly Stanley
I've always considered myself to be more of a country girl at heart.
The city, with it's loud noises and constant disquiet, has never compelled me to stay.

People say we each have two homes.
One is your actual home, the one where you were born and raised.
The other is your spiritual home, the birthplace of your soul.
My actual home is here in the city of Rochester, barely a mile from where we are now.
I have lived in that house my whole life, and I can't imagine living anywhere else.
But my spiritual home?
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My daughter Molly Part 2

Molly Stanley
Inventory of Being
I am full of contradictions
I am made up of wishes and truths, sadness and joy
Anger and calm, kindness and cynicism
Fire and ice, dark and light
Hopes and despairs
I know what I like and don’t like
I love my family and friends, animals and imagination
I dislike the cold and carbonated drinks
I love music and dancing, warmth and laughter
I dislike math homework and early mornings
I know what I believe in, and I stand strong behind those beliefs
I believe being different doesn’t make you a
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my daughter Molly part 1

Molly Stanley
It usually starts with something.
An event, a trigger, a starting point.
One moment that replays in your mind like a broken record, the one moment you wish you were able banish to the recesses of your mind, never to be seen or heard from again.
I’ve searched for it, sifting through the few things I remember from childhood, recounting the stories my parents have told me about myself, the times in my life I no longer remember.
My insufficient memory took those from me, the memories of my carefree days, when joy was limitless, love
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