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Equal play and fun

Equal play and fun
There is no medical or psychological data that says equal play impedes child’s athletic development up to an including U10. Just the adults’ egos are bruised. We have done pilot programs up to U13 with complete success and others have sent me data that they have done it all the way up to U18 with great success. If you leave kids alone, they will play for hours on end. It’s called free play. The score doesn’t change the way they play if left alone unless there is outside adult interference. The score changes the way adults
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The Intern

The Intern

 

One of the coaches that I am mentoring was having a hard time understanding playing time for those on the team who didn’t have the physical abilities of the more talented players. I explained to him that no one really knows when “suck” is going to happen. Players need playing time to be able to foster inter team competition for the betterment of the team and individual. Look, most teams of 20 have this kind of breakdown. They have a top 2 or 3 and then 12-15 who are all about the same, and then 2 at
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Friday thoughts

If you think your Childs athletic performance is the key to your financial future, you should play the lottery. Same odds. Go to http://frozenshorts.com  and download free our weekend youth sport cost calculator. Go to media, scroll down to bottom. And plug in #s. See what it costs per hour for your child to play travel youth sports. Children learn from internal realization. Not external force. So stop yelling at them while the play. It just another form of entitlement. Kids should be allowed and encouraged to stay in the moment and have fun. Let them dream later
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Others

Playing and coaching with someone who has less ability has as much to do with you and the team getting better as it does them improving. At some point you won’t be the best player on a team. How do you reconcile your exclusion of others when you start to get excluded? What if a coach purposefully showed up late for practice just to learn what the kids would want to do without the coach? One period or one quarter for one game we ask for no yelling instructions at the kids by coaches and parents. Tell us what happens!

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Sectional Avoidance

Sectional Avoidance

 

Over the last decade I have heard this expression repeated by coaches, players, parents, and administrators. “If things work out we can avoid playing “X” in the Sectionals until we or they get to the finals. This is modeling behavior that is simply another form of entitlement that puts winning at all cots above  the journey.

 

Now I freely admit that I am old school. I’d rather play the best team we could play 10 times in a season, than the worse team once. You don’t learn anything beating up on teams and you certainly don’t
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Underage Recruiting

Underage recruiting

 

I was invited to attend a youth sports presentation in Chicago. During the presentation a gentleman got up and spoke about how a sophomore that he knew was already getting offers for a DI athletic scholarship. After the presentation I approached another man who said to me that “Michigan already has a lot of their 2018 recruiting done.” And another one said to me that “The kids are getting the offers, what's the problem?”

 

Well here in a nutshell is the problem. You cannot get a legitimate DI Athletic offer from a college until you have
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The Real True Base

The Base

 

Over and over again I hear the phrase “we need to teach these kids how to win.” Over and over I hear the phrase “Kids need to know about winning and losing.”

 

And the newest one “I love my kid so I am going to let them play the one sport they love year round and support them. “I want them to take it as far as they can go. “

 

Now I submit to you why this is just another example of entitlement and not the base kids need and want to be successful
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Generational Rebellion

All generations rebel. However, more importantly, as much as they want to be independent, each generation of teenagers and young adults desperately want to fit in. Classic conflict. What is interesting to me is that this generations’ rebellion has disposed of manners as a way of rebelling. Why? Instantaneous results and rewards. They are not smart phones, they are answer phones. "Smarts" or knowledge is gained through the journey, trial, and error. Failure or failing is a tool for growth not an opportunity for scorn. You want to make someone tense?

Keep training them to have immediate answers. While everyone

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From The Bottom Up

From The Bottom UP:

 

I am working with a group trying to institute an equipment change in their sport for safety reasons. They went to the top and got a less than enthusiastic response. When presented with this problem at our presentations, seminars, and workshops we say to “Stop trying to teach the pig to sing. It’s a waste of your time and annoys the hell out of the pig.”

 

True change comes from the bottom up. The top guys and women don’t want to disrupt the apple cart. They don’t want to lose their status. They don’t
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Psychotic

Psychotic

 

Talked to a mom whose 16 year old son has had 4 surgeries? He plays basketball year round. Do the math. Health is the most important part of a child’s journey through youth and HS sports. One sport year round is unhealthy. Do the math

 

 

 

Kids are playing video game because they get to play. Not even half of them are full time gamers. They are just kids who want to play. Adjust or the kids will do it for you.

 

Seriously, as a youth and high school coach you wear the gear everywhere
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Living Vicariously

I met another family bragging about their son getting a full athletic scholarship to play Division I sports. Funny how they did not mention the 2 letters he would have to receive from the college. They did not mention the grant in aid letter, nor did they mention the letter of intent.  I am also curious as to why they did not mention the $50 they had to send to the NCAA clearing house. Nor did they mention the clearing house # you get to be able to accept an athletic scholarship. No announcement on any social media was made.
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EPTU

EPTU. I heard from a coach that equal play under 10 rewards kids who don’t want to work and put in the effort. They are kids, not micro adults. Embrace their age appropriate desire for FUN. It should be an integral part of your coaching philosophy. Or is just a word you throw around to appease your conscience? Had a coach tell me Kobe does it that way when he's trying to win a game. Well coach your player is not Kobe and never will be. He’s a high school student. Teach him that way.  Imitating what the pros do

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Injuries to multi sport athletes

During a recent mentoring session with a coach he asked if back in my day, we had kids miss a whole season with an injury. I said it rarely happened. Most of the time when it did it was an accident. Somebody tripped over something, or they ran into something and got hurt. Occasionally, and I remember it happening once in high school, did I see a player get hurt during a game that caused him to miss the rest of the season.

 

But today, you see or hear about it often. With 3000 kids a day going to
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Paycheck and Taxes

Is it about the paycheck and taxes?

 

Since it’s Labor Day, let’s talk about working, paychecks, and taxes. In this day and age of youth and high school sports, I am struck by the similarities between our children’s new era of “play” and a job. If put into business terms, it seems that youth sports organizations are issuing taxes and parents are paying these taxes without either side being fully aware of the actual physical drain on their “bank” accounts.  These taxes, like almost all taxes, are adding so much outside negative stress that it has become increasingly difficult
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Game Changing Calls

Game Changing Calls

 

 Don’t put yourself or team in a position where a ref can make a difference in the outcome of a game. You don’t want him/her to do it, and neither does he/she. In the course of a game there are multiple calls that are questionable. I could go back through the game and every team sport game I played, coached or watched and point out plays and calls for both sides, if executed properly, would have made that “game changing” call in the Buffalo Bills Jacksonville Jaguar game, or any game I played, coached, or watched,
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The importance of fun and laughter in sports

Play for Fun with laughter
In my 7 years as a professional standup comedian I was continually overwhelmed by the fact that as comedians, we could take a group of people in a room, who would never be together again, and unite them in laughter. After the show was over, people would come up to you, buy your CD or DVD, stop and chat, or comment on the show.
I would sometimes stand  to the side and just watch the whole proceedings. Watching people leave the comedy club feeling good, made me feel good.
Then it struck me how valuable
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Injured egos fractured truth

Just got off the phone with a friend who was telling me a story about a couple of kids who played on his team. They were multi sport athletes and played on this guy’s team because it was so much fun. That’s right, kids play for fun. Whether adults, organizations, and even parents think it’s about winning for the kids as a priority, well it’s not. Study after study, including our own of over 1000 kids, demonstrates they want to have fun, play with their friends, and compete.

 

When things don’t work out, and the athletic scholarship does not
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The Buffalo Bills and Accountability

 The Bills seemed to blame the referees for the loss yesterday against the Giants, or at least all the penalties. Not taking responsibility for ones actions is a very good way to ensure entitlement. It’s not very good role modeling. Am I to assume that the refs wanted the Bills to lose and the Giants to win? Teaching our children accountability should be a paramount basic fundamental value. But if our leaders don’t, why should they? I used to tell my teams don’t put yourselves in a position when playing that the ref can make a difference in the game.
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Cell phones and selfies

Cell phones and selfies

 

Life is about balance. We are social creatures by nature. The more we lose sight of the value in community to all, the easier it is to become jaded. Most everyone wants to be independent but they also want to belong. If you don’t feel like you belong, many serious negative consequences, thoughts, and actions become more plausible to you.

 

When you take the group dynamic and all it positives and negatives, and turn it into a vehicle for self, you have looming problems. (See congress) or big business. I’m all for fun but
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This Sucks and I am Bitter

I write this week’s blog with a heavy heart. There is so much of what I see out there in the world of youth sports, and society in general, that I wish was not happening. Today, I want to talk about what children learned when they realized the end of their career was coming. What would they change about how they did things after their playing days were over?
 It was brought up to me recently, after one of my talks, if I thought the kids that got screwed over playing youth and high school sports, would behave and coach

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